Hey Newbie,
Welcome to CKON, where the threads are fresh, the drama is stale, and the mods run on caffeine and regret.
If you want to survive here longer than a goldfish at a cat convention, read these rules. Twice. Then print them, frame them, and hang them over your desk.
1. Don’t Be a Troll.
We can smell them from a mile away, and we have a ban button faster than you can type “lol u mad.”
2. Search Before You Post.
There’s a magical box at the top of the page called a Search Bar. Type words in it. Press Enter. If you post something that’s already been answered 27 times, expect replies like “OP can’t read” and “/thread.”
3. Respect the Mods.
They’re not paid. They don’t have to like you. And if you push it, you’ll find out just how permanent “permanent ban” is.
4. No Spam.
Yes, your cousin’s crypto coin is “the next Bitcoin.” No, we don’t care. Wrong section = gone in 60 seconds.
5. Don’t Feed the Drama Llamas.
They thrive on attention. If you ignore them, they eventually wander off to YouTube comments where they belong.
6. Post in the Right Forum.
If you post your cat pictures in Serious Tech Discussion, you will be roasted mercilessly. (Unless the cat is wearing VR goggles — then it’s allowed.)
7. No Thread Necromancy.
If a thread is older than your nephew, don’t bump it unless you’re adding actual value. Posting “lol” on a 2005 debate is not value.
8. Grammar: It Matters.
We’re not your English teacher, but if your post reads like it was typed by a toaster, expect zero replies.
9. Debate Like an Adult.
You can disagree without going full keyboard warrior. Pro tip: Caps Lock does not make your argument stronger.
10. Lurk Before You Leap.
Read some threads first. Learn the culture. Then post. Jumping in blind is how you end up on our “Hall of Shame.”
TL;DR: Don’t be dumb. Don’t be mean. Don’t post like you’re on Twitter. And for the love of bandwidth, resize your images.
Now go forth and post wisely. Or don’t, and we’ll see you in the Ban Appeals section.
— Your Glorious Leader, AgExempt
